The metro is both a train & somewhere where you buy stuff.
You often end some of your sentences with “man” or “like”.
You’re not taking the mickey when you say “Why Aye Man”.
If your a lass Cheryl Cole is your idol and if your a lad you think “she’s alreet her like”.
If your under 35 Alan Shearer was your idol when you were growing up.
You often buy a Greggs pastie for your breakfast or dinner.
You don’t wear a coat to go out clubbing in the toon (Newcastle upon tyne) even if it’s snowing or raining.
You know the word “Canny” has more than one meaning.
You love Chip Stotties.
If your a girl you sometimes drink pints through a straw.
Ganning clubbing in South Shields makes a refreshing change.
Your ma or da used to party on the Tuxedo Princess.
You order gravy with your chips and nobody thinks it’s weird.
Banter means you can totally slag someone off but no-ones allowed to get upset.
It’s normal for you to say “Yih Alreet” to everyone (even strangers).
Unlike the rest of the UK you know the difference between Geordies, Mackems & Smoggies.
You often find that most people in the rest of the country don't understand a word your saying.
Christmas season officially begins when Fenwicks unveil their window.
You know Newcastle and Gateshead are different places & it is NOT “NewcastleGateshead”.
Lasses use the term "Hun" when addressing a friend.
Most women are called "Pet" or "Petal" constantly.
You feel pleased to see the Angel of the North from the A1 because it means you’re almost home.
All your vowels are short – but for some reason you pronounce ‘master’ as ‘marster’ and ‘plaster’ as ‘plarster’.
The phrase ‘I will love it if we beat them, love it’ sends shivers down your spine.
You get annoyed when people think Newcastle is just about Geordie shore and the big market.
But you smile when you see a crowd of Where’s Wallys, a group of golfers and a horde of pirates all on fancy dress nights out.
You say ‘howay’ and mean something different each time you say it.
You know how to pronounce Prudhoe, Alnwick, ponteland and Ulgham properly.
You chuckle when someone talks about the film War Horse because it sounds like a geordie saying ‘Wor Horse’.
You think the South starts on the far side of the Tyne Bridge.
You’re constantly left wondering why you enjoy football when it causes you so much pain – but keep coming back for more.
But a Newcastle united win lifts your whole weekend.
You go for nights out in the depths of winter with only a layer of glitter and a thin dress to keep you warm (or just a t-shirt if you're a man) – then grow up and complain about the younger generation doing the same thing.
The thought of Tudor crisps makes you feel nostalgic or at least your ma or da may think so.
You think ham is nothing without pease pudding.
You chat to strangers like they’re old friends.
A Sunderland defeat is almost as good as a Newcastle win.
You feel it’s a local duty to complete the great north run or the blaydon races, even if you’ve run neither yet.
Football is a huge part of your life, despite your club winning nothing for more than 40 years
People saying ‘Eeee!’ doesn’t sound odd to you.